top of page

Partners Exclusive: The Invisibility of Greatness

  • May 9
  • 3 min read

Giving Yourself Permission to Be Truly You


Throughout history, women who dared to become fully themselves often found the world unprepared to embrace them. Whether queens, poets, thinkers, or even rule-breakers, their stories have been erased, their names buried, and their complexity reduced. And yet, their essence endures—because the desire to become one’s true self is an instinct as human as breathing.


Psychologically, the journey to self-actualization—the highest level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs—requires more than ambition. It demands courage, healing, and often, the willingness to leave behind the protective cocoon we build to survive. Psychologist Carl Rogers described this as becoming "the fully functioning person," one who trusts their own experience and allows themselves to grow into authenticity.

But this path can feel treacherous, especially for women.


The social and cultural conditioning to "be good," to be liked, to stay within the bounds of expectations, often starts in childhood and becomes ingrained in our identity. As clinical psychologist Dr. Thema Bryant notes:

"Oftentimes, we internalize the limitations placed on us, confusing silence with safety and invisibility with protection."

Think of Cleopatra or Nefertiti—not just as rulers but as individuals whose stories were rewritten or distorted. Or of the countless anonymous women—scientists, writers, rebels, and survivors—whose work, love, and dreams were silenced. Their absence in history books is not a reflection of their insignificance, but of a cultural discomfort with women who stepped fully into their power.


Even today, many women navigate this tension. From authors who used male pseudonyms to mothers penalized in the workplace, the act of self-expression—of simply being—is often a quiet act of resistance. The motherhood penalty is one such modern reflection of how society still struggles with women's multiplicity.


Take the statue of Anonymous in Hungary. A cloaked figure, face hidden, is assumed to be male—a scribe for kings. But what if she were a woman? A woman who understood that hiding was her best way to preserve truth, not erase it? What if the anonymity was not shame, but strategy?

Delmira Agustini, the Uruguayan poet, was one of the first Latin American women to write openly about female desire. In her poem Inefable, she reveals a hunger for life and truth that feels universal:

"Eres la sed y lo que ha de saciarla, Y lo que en mi alma dormía Eternamente te reclama."

(You are the thirst and that which will quench it, / And what lay sleeping in my soul / Eternally calls for you.)


But Agustini was murdered by her ex-husband at age 27—a grim reminder of the danger women often face when they refuse to conform. Her story is not isolated, and the fear of stepping out of the cocoon is, unfortunately, often justified.


Yet psychology offers us tools for transformation. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches us to identify internalized narratives and replace them with healthier beliefs. Trauma-informed therapy helps us explore inherited fears—often intergenerational—and break free of patterns no longer serving us. Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion suggests that gentle acceptance is a more effective catalyst for growth than perfectionism or criticism.


Giving yourself permission to be you isn’t about rebellion—it’s about integration. It’s about bringing to light what’s already inside, learning to recognize the whispers of your own voice beneath the noise. Becoming yourself isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about shedding what never truly belonged.

And perhaps the first step is simply this: acknowledging that you are not alone. That women across time and place have walked this same path, leaving behind traces of courage in poems, stories, anonymous works, and silent sacrifices.


Give yourself permission. The cocoon was never meant to be a cage. It was always meant to be temporary.

You already belong.



bottom of page